Genjutsu Gone Wrong
by ShadowPlague91
Summary: Tsunade seeks revenge on Naruto after he plays a prank on her. She uses a genjutsu to make him fall for Sasuke, but something goes wrong. SasuNaru KibaOC KakaIru Other side pairings Yaoi, Lemon, Blood, Cussing It's romance too! Warnings for later chapies
1. Prologue

**Summary: Tsunade seeks to play a prank on Naruto after he did one to her. She uses a genjutsu to make him fall for Sasuke, but something goes wrong.**

**Warnings:** **Just the usual M rated warnings- Yaoi (For those who don't know -sniff- it means Guy-on-Guy sex), Cussing, Blood, Lemon (Sorry if the stuff doesn't appear in this chapter, it just means that at one point in the story it will be there.)**

**

* * *

Me: -typing happily- **

**Sasori: Hello**

**Me: Ahhh! What the hell! Where did you come from?**

**Sasori: U**mm**...I'm the guy in the story.**

**Me: -blank stare-**

**Sasori: What?**

**Me: -blinks**-

**Sasori: Ok fine I'm leaving**

**Me: Wait! Don't leave yet! I'm just confused. Why are you here?**

**Sasori: I'm your muse. I guess I'm supposed to entertain you or something.**

**Me: Is there anyone else?**

**Naruto: Noooooooooo!!!!!!!**

**Sasori: There's him.**

**Naruto: Why???????**

**Me: OMG! -hugs Naruto-**

**Sasuke: -death glare- GET...OFF...**

**Me: Eep Well thanks for coming guys but now I don't remember where I was.**

**Sasuke: Hn**

**Me: -pulls out Uchia-to-English dictionary- "Disclaimer?" Oh right!**

**Naruto: -jumping around-** **I wanna do it! I wanna do it!**

**Me: Um o...kay... knock yourself out**

**Naruto: Yay!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto -sob-**

**A/N Oh before I start I just want to say that Sasori is not that guy from the Akatsuki (I think I spelled that right) Sasori is my own character that I made up. He is blond haired, blue eyed and has black wings that he can put away and pull out to fly. I had named him and then realized that it was also a member of the Akatsuki but I like that name too much to give up -sob- If that bothers anyone...sorry! Oh and just to tell you, Sasori is a half demon is like the link between the demon realm and the human realm. He lives in Konoha to keep the most dangerous demon, Kyuubi, in check. Now on with the story!**

"Talking"

_Thinking_

"_Sasori thinking to people"_

"**Kyuubi talking"**

**--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

Tsunade blinked as she tried to clear the fuzzy image before her. Her head hurt like hell and she still couldn't see straight. She blinked a few more times and the room seem to stop spinning. Her office stopped its dancing and stayed still.

"My aching head!" she yelled in agony, wincing at the volume of her own voice. She lifted her head from her desk and looked out the window. _Ah too bright!_ She closed her eyes and laid her head back down on the pile of paper on her desk. _What happened?_

After thinking for a few minutes she flashed her eyes open and grit her teeth, "Damned brat!" she yelled. She slowly rose from her desk to seek out some headache medicine.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Ahahaha! The old hag is probably waking up right now! Ahahaha!" yelled Naruto as he, Sasuke, and Sakura waited for Kakashi-sensei on the bridge.

"What are you talking about, Naruto?" asked Sakura from her place next to Sasuke. She released her hold on his arm just enough for him to shake her off. He slid away from her about two inches before she realized what he was doing. "Where ya going, Sasuke-kun?"

"Hn," was his reply.

"As talkative as ever, teme. Anyway! I put this pill in baa-chan's sake and she should be waking up by now with a huge headache. Haha!" Naruto told them through his fits of laughter. Sasuke and Sakura just stared at him.

"Why would do such a horrible thing you idiot!" Sakura yelled as she bopped him on the head.

"Itai! S-Sakura-chan, that hurt!" Naruto yelled as he nursed the back of his head. What neither of them saw, was the way Sasuke glared at Sakura and the way he flinched as she hit Naruto. _That bitch! How dare she hurt my Naruto! Wait...Did...I just say...**my **Naruto? Eww! When did he become **my** Naruto? The dobe!_

"Um...Sasuke? Are you alright?" Sakura asked him only two inches from his face. "You went all spacey on me for a minute there." Sasuke, suddenly realizing their proximity, violently shoved Sakura to the ground and returned to his normal bored expressionless face. He looked around and just examined the environment around them.

A shallow river ran underneath the bridge and many trees surrounded them as they were farther away from the civilized part of town. He looked up into the sky and saw three birds fly by. _Why must everything run in threes? Can't it be just me and the dobe. I mean he is annoying and all but, Sakura is ten times worse. Ugh! There I go again with Naruto! Kami-sama! What_ _is wrong with me?_

"_Hey Sasuke, you're thinking pretty loudly over there. You ok?"_

"What?"Sasuke asked at the sudden intrusion. He looked to his right and saw that Sasori had finally arrived. "Tch it took you long enough."

"Hey hey hey. I don't see Kakashi-sensei so just keep your shirt on."

"Where is he anyway?"asked Naruto.

"You don't want to know" Sasori whispered irritably.

* * *

"Mmm...Kakashi," Iruka whispered defiantly as Kakashi proceeded to kiss him again, "Don't you have a squad to lead?"

"They can wait," Kakashi whispered back as he captured Iruka's lips once more.

* * *

"Nope, you don't wanna know..."

"Why not?" asked a curious Naruto.

"Well, you see, he's in a meeting with an adorable little dolphin," Sasori stated a-matter-of-factly.

"Haha very funny," Naruto stated sarcastically

_I just wish they knew how true that really was.

* * *

_

One Hour Time Passage

* * *

"Where is Kakashi-sensei? He's later than usual," whispered Sakura, now seated on the ground next to Sasuke.

Sasuke repositioned himself on the railing of the bridge, "He better get here soon or else I'm leaving. I have more important things to do."

"Me too!" yelled Naruto.

"Hey guys," greeted a certain copy-cat ninja as he appeared.

"You're late!" both Naruto and Sakura yelled.

"WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?" asked Naruto

"Well you see, I was in a meeting with an adorable little dolphin," he answered as his eyes turned into upside-down U's. Everyone turned and stared at Sasori in disbelief.

"Told you so."

"Well I'm glad you could make it Sasori. I wasn't sure if you would've preferred working with us or not. Seeing as you are a jounin (is that spelled right?) and all."

"Hey, I might be a jounin but I'm still the same age as them. I like to have too, ya know."

"Of course, of course. Now we are going to be doing an exercise today since the Hokage hasn't been able to give out missions today," the copy-cat ninja began as he glared at Naruto, "Instead you three will be fighting against Sasori."

"WHAT!?!? ARE YOU NUTS SENSEI!?!? YOU EXPECT US TO FIGHT **HIM**!?!?"

"Naruto! Calm down and let me explain!" After Naruto had sufficiently calmed down, along with Sasuke's help when he threw him in the river, Kakashi finished his explanation, "Now I don't expect you guys to beat him or anything, seeing as he's already of jonin level and you guys are still chunin, but that doesn't mean you guys can't try to hit him at least."

"What makes you think they can?" Sasori interjected.

"I said **try** and hit you. Besides you won't kill them will you?"

"Of course not. They're not to die just yet." Sasori turned and smirked at the three who were all positioned on the railing by now with Sasori standing behind Kakashi. He slid the katana (for those who don't know, that's a sword that's about 40 inches long) out of it's sheath on his waist an inch.

"Stop teasing them, Sasori," Kakashi warned, "We haven't begun just yet." They all swear a smile appears underneath that mask of his. Creepy. "Now if you would all follow me to the lake them we can begin."

"That damned brat is really gonna get it this time, but what to do to him? Hm, it ought to be something extremely embarrassing that I can treasure for a lifetime (aka: blackmail). But what?" Tsunade strolled around her archives looking for the perfect jutsu to use. "I could make him grow a tail...nah. How 'bout I change his hair black. That would drive him nuts." She continued to scan through the various scrolls littering the room.

"No, I got a better idea. I'll make him fall in love with a certain black-haired ninja. Ha! That would be priceless! Now where is that genjutsu scroll. Ah here it is. Hm. This looks easy enough." After she had preformed the jutsu she sat down at her desk and sighed. Life was good.

Unfortunately she missed an important part of the scroll. The tiny warning on the very end saying: "Do not preform in the presence of a full moon, may have bizarre effects."

And sure enough, tonight was the full moon.

**

* * *

Me: Well how was that for a start? **

**Sasuke: Hn.**

**Me: -pulls out Uchia-to-English dictionary, again**- **"It was terrible?"**

**Sasuke: Hn**

**Me: Oh you're just mad cause you didn't get to pound Naruto into a bed, or a table, or a couch, or a-**

**Naruto: -covers my mouth- Stop!** **You're giving him ideas.**

**Sasori: -sniggers-**

**Naruto: What's so funny**?

**Sasori: You seemed to like the idea of doing it on the table.**

**Naruto: -blushes profusely- S-So.**

**Me: How do you know?**

**Sasori: I can read minds -wink-**

**Me: Ok ignoring that. I hope you guys liked that. If there are any spelling mistakes or you guys have any suggestions just let me hear them! But it's my first fic, so please don't flame. If you do...I'll-I'll use them to make a Sakura bonfire! (No offence to those who like her)**

**Naruto: Sadist**

**Me: Oh you give me too much credit!**

**Sasori: Since they aren't going to ever end this, I guess I will**-

**Me: Ja!**

**Sasori: -death glare-**


	2. And So It Begins!

**A/N: Hey everybody. I'm back and I've decided to go ahead and give a more in depth description of Sasori. I went and looked up pictures of Akatsuki's Sasori and have decided that my Sasori looks pretty much the same except that my Sasori's eyes are blue and not green. Sasori is a half-demon (like explained before) and is from the Hirashi (don't know where I came up with that, if it's in use, then I borrowed it I guess) clan, a clan that rules over the living**,**, and the dead. His clan was murdered when he turned five by Orochimaru. His clan has an ability to copy ninjutsu instantly, much like the Sharingan (did I spell that right?), only he can imitate any jutsu by recreating it into something he can already do. He also has black wings that he can pull in and out to fly, like I said before. Oh! An important point to remember is that genjutsu does not affect him, this makes him unaffected by Tsunade's jutsu. That's very important. Anyway, lets move forward. **

**Warning: Yaoi, Lemon, Blood, Cussing (for later chapters)**

**Disclaimer:**

**Me: Yes! I own Naruto!**

**Naruto: No you don't that's a manga book.**

**Me: No you're wrong! I own Naruto! Muhahahaha!**

**Sasuke: I beg to differ -drags Naruto away-**

**Me: Well that was odd. I expected the police or a lawyer or something legal** **oriented. But yes...sadly I do not own Naruto. Sasuke does.**

* * *

**Sasori: -death glare-**

**Me: You're still mad I cut you off aren't you.**

**Sasori: -death glare-**

**Me: I take that as a yes. Well anyway. Sorry for not updating sooner! But I have two research papers to write and a novel to read! High school and all AP classes sucks! I have soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo much fucking work! I need to breath. -takes deep breath- That's better.**

**Kiba: Whoo! What's up people!**

**Me: Ahhh! Kiba! -glomps Kiba-**

**Sasori: -death glare-**

**Me: -still hugging Kiba-**

**Kiba: Um dude. It's been like five minutes, you can let go now.**

**Me: Oh sorry. Ahem.**

**Sasori: -death glare-**

**Kiba: Dude if you keep glaring at him like that he might burst into flames.**

**Sasori: -death glare-**

**Me: -on fire- AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!**

**Sasori: -smiles-**

**Kiba: Dude you lit the writer on fire! Now w**

**e won't get the fic written properly.**

**Me: Phew glad that's over. Hey Kiba, look what happened to your sentence.**

**Kiba: That's weird. My sentence got cut apart.**

**Sasori: -smiles-**

**Me: Ok now you're scaring me. Hey Kiba where are Sasuke and Naruto?**

**Naruto: RIGHT THERE SASUKE! AHHH!**

**Me, Kiba: -sweatdrop-**

**Sasori: -smiles-**

**Me: I'll be right back! -runs out of room-**

**Kiba: Um...what now?**

**Sasori: -smirk- We could have sex.**

**Kiba: Ok**

**Me: -in living room- Not on the couch you two! Argh! You guys are giving me a headache. I need to lie down -walks in bedroom- Gah! -passes out from massive nose bleed-**

**Kiba: Oops.**

**Sasori: We'll write I guess**

"Talking"

_Thinking_

"_Sasori thinking to others"_

**Kyuubi Talking

* * *

**

"Alright guys. Here we are," announced Kakashi as he led the group to a rather large lake. The lake was quite large, however, you could still see the other side. The whole area was surrounded by trees and about twenty feet around the lake was grass before turning into a forest.

"Now your "mission" is for someone to hit Sasori while all four of you are walking on water. You three may use deadly force but Sasori, you are not allowed to attack." Everyone nodded their heads in understanding.

"Wait, what happens if we fall in the water?" Naruto asked.

"Hm, seems you're getting more and more perceptive each day Naruto. Well in the event one of you does fall in, you must swim to the shore before climbing back on top of the water. The water will not allow you to jump out in the middle of the lake. I also must point out that if you continually fall in, swimming back to shore will become very tiring, and not allow you to perform at your best. Now if you would get ready," instructed Kakashi as he watched his student begin to move out into the middle of the lake.

Once they all moved into the middle, his squad circling Sasori, he yelled, "BEGIN!"

At once, Naruto, Sasuke and Sakura jumped back ten feet as Sasori began to move the water around him, creating waves that reached his shoulders. The water around him churned violently, but it didn't seem to have any affect on the rest of the lake. The entire lake was like a giant mirror, reflecting all that was above.

"Kage Bushin no Jutsu (for those who don't know- Shadow Clone Jutsu)," yelled Naruto as he created five clones. Each one of the clones drew kunai and prepared to strike. Sasuke began making hand signs for a chidori. Sakura, unsure of what to do, looked to her teammates for a signal, but none came. The six Narutos threw their kunai at Sasori and Sasuke finished preparing the chidori. Sakura saw a big problem with his choice in technique, they're in the middle of a body of **water**. _No Sasuke! Don't_

"Hey Sasuke, don't electrocute me. You hear me? Don't electrocute me!" came the voice of Naruto. Sakura decided it would be best to just make a few clones and have them attack as Naruto was doing, close combat was out of the question with Sasori.

Suddenly, Sasori jumped back and drew his blade yelling, "Kamaitachi no Jutsu!(Wind Scythe)" A large slice of wind came from the movement of his sword and raced towards the Naruto clones.

"Hey! Isn't that Temari's technique?" questioned Sakura as she jumped further away from the thin blade of air.

"_Actually, it is. How observant of you, Sakura-chan"_

Sakura gasped and gripped her head as she felt Sasori intrude on her mind, "Get out!"

"_Too late"_ and she saw black. She didn't move from her standing position, though. Sasori merely manipulated her mind and shut it down just enough for her to no longer hold any coherent thought. Just enough to breath and stand.

Naruto dispelled the clones and drew three kunai in either hand. _You'll pay for that Sasori. Sakura-chan, hang on!_ He threw all of the kunai and followed them in to Sasori, Sasuke close behind.

"_Hey Kyuubi, how many Narutos does it take to beat me?"_

**I don't know, how many?**

"_It doesn't matter how many there are they're all too stupid_ _to!"_

Kyuubi snickered at the insult. _Um guys, you're making really hard to concentrate on our 'mission'_

Sasori jumped over both Sasuke and Naruto as they neared him only to be closely followed by both. _Dammit they just won't take a break. Ok then, I guess I'm gonna have to use the water, even though it's gonna get us all electrocute by Sasuke-baka_.

Naruto threw six more kunai as Sasori landed on the water, only to be blocked by a wall of water that seemed to follow the hand motions of Sasori (much like Gaara's sand). Sasuke canceled the chidori just as he came into contact with the water and slid into the depths of the lake.

"Dammit Sasuke! Can't you stay up here teme!"

"Shut it, dobe!"

"How about both of you shut it and get your sorry asses up here and hit me with something?" Sasori offered. Naruto grit his teeth as he steeled himself for impact. A huge wave caught Naruto and threw him into the air. He did three somersaults and landed in the water.

"You stupid bastard! You said you would go easy on us!" Naruto yelled indignantly, "and I thought you weren't supposed to strike us or something!"

"Kakashi-sensei did say that didn't he. Well I apologize then, but hurry up and get back over here so we can finish this. I want that prize immediately." Naruto and Sasuke abided by Sasori and swam as quickly as possible to the shore. Ok it was more like they raced each other there. _Why is everything a contest between those two?_

Naruto and Sasuke climbed up onto the shore slowly as if being pushed down by an incredible weight. Their sluggish movements made Kakashi giggle from the rock he was perched on. No wait, he was giggling at that stupid book again. Icha Icha Paradise or whatever the hell that stupid hentai book was called (Hope I got the right name there). Sasori put his sword away and calmed the waters surrounding him as the two approached. He would have to play by their rules now.

Naruto and Sasuke both drew shuriken and prepared to throw them. Sasori decided that holding Sakura unconscious would be against the rules of the 'mission so he released her and she staggered as she regained her composure. The two boys released their shuriken and they hurtled toward Sasori. Again, water came up and stopped the shurikens' progress,

"It'll take more than that," he taunted.

"Shut up!" Naruto yelled as he threw three shuriken.

_What the? Is that...genjutsu? It's definitely genjutsu but these guys aren't doing it. Nor is Kakashi-sensei_. _But who?_

An intense pain in Sasori's arm pulled him out of his thoughts. "Ugh!" he yelled as he kneeled on the water. _The genjutsu chakra is gone. What was it, though?_

"I hit him. I hit him! I HIT HIM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I, Uzamaki Naruto, have injured the great and powerful Sasori! Whoohoo!" As Naruto continued to whoop and jump around, Kakashi appeared next to Sasori.

"Yeah, nice shot Naruto," congratulated Sasuke.

Immediately, Naruto placed his hand behind his head in embarrassment, "Yeah, hehe no big deal"

_Did I just hear correctly? Did Sasuke just compliment Naruto_? _No way that's possible. "Kakashi, did you feel that genjutsu?"_

"Yes, I did but let's not worry about that. Good work you guys and Naruto especially. Now, for hitting him, you guys have exactly one week off. Since Naruto won the 'mission,' he now chooses...where you guys are to eat lunch. My treat."

Sakura:_ That's our big reward?_

Sasuke: _Hn. Naruto looks kinda cute when he's all smiley. Wait! What am I thinking?_

Naruto: _RAMEN RAMEN RAMEN RAMEN RAMEN RAMEN RAMEN RAMEN RAMEN_

Kakashi: _I can't wait to see Iruka again!_

Sasori: _They're all idiots!_ (Sounds like Sasuke, ne?)

"Alright! Sensei! Let's go to Ichiraku's Ramen Shop! Please?" begged Naruto as he activated the puppy-dog pout.

"Of course Naruto, it is your pick after all." Kakashi told them as he began to walk back to the shore. Sasori glanced down at his arm. _So this is what it's like to bleed. It feels...good._ The blood had begun to run down his arm and drip into the water beneath him. The blood drop fell slowly and resolutely as it came into contact with the water below, turning the water a murky red. _It's times like these I wish I had more on than a fishnet shirt. Hehe. What am I saying? This never happens._

Sasori used his minor telekinesis (for those who don't know, though I really hope every knows what that means, it means to move things with your mind) abilities to pull the shuriken out. The blood began to run more freely down his arm, coloring his skin a brilliant shade of red. He then placed his fore and middle fingers together and ran them along the wounds. In his fingers wake left only steaming skin, very much similar to the Kyuubi's method of healing Naruto.

**Hehehe**

The blond haired boy stood up after his wounds had healed and walked after Kakashi and his squad.

**Hahaha**

His fisted clenched as he thought about what had made him lose focus.

**AHAHA**

"Kyuubi! SHUT THE HELL UP!" All four of the ninja looked at Sasori as if he grew two heads. "She's fucking laughing at me!" he spat defensively

**FINALLY! YOU'VE BEEN HIT! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA**

_Now Kyuubi, that's not very nice!_ Naruto whispered to her.

"_You got that right!"_

Naruto turned his head and stuck his tongue out at Sasori.

"You better put that thing back in your mouth before I rip it out." Naruto complied immediately. Their walk back was uneventful except for the sighting of three birds flying over head and three rabbits scampering by.

"Hey. What day is it?" Naruto asked randomly.

"Kyriaki," answered Sasori.

"Huh?"

"Kyriaki"

"And that means what in Japanese?"

"Sunday"

"CAN'T YOU JUST SAY SUNDAY?"

"No"

"Why you!"

Sasuke stopped Naruto before he could get any further, "Naruto, don't waste your time with him. He just likes pissin' people off."

"Oh ok..." Naruto whispered as he looked at the ground.

_That was odd, too. Something is going on with these three and I don't like it. Sakura hasn't even touched Sasuke yet. Why hasn't she latched onto him and since when does Sasuke care about what Naruto does? Wonder if Kakashi knows what's going on._ Sasori turned his head to his right and saw that Kakashi had his nose deep in his book _He's not even paying attention. Some jounin he is._

Tsunade leaned back in her chair as she sipped on her sake, checking it thoroughly before doing so of course. Life was good. She hadn't had anyone bother her all day and soon she would have enough dirt on Naruto that he would do as she said no matter what. Yes, life certainly was good.

The street of Konoha were as busy as ever. The bustling of the marketplace was no different. People could be heard chattering about their daily news and such. Kakashi held his arm out in front of everyone to signal for everyone to stop.

"I'm going to take a little detour. I need to get something for myself before we all go to lunch. You guys know where the place is. Why don't I meet you there in a bit?" He spoke to them without looking at them, only turning his head to the side so that he could speak over his shoulder at them. Naruto didn't miss the mischievous glint in his eye, however.

"You liar! You're just as big a pervert as the pervy sage! You're probably going to go and buy one of your stupid hentai books!" Everyone within the whole of Konoha seemed to stop briefly. All eyes were on Naruto and Kakashi.

Tsunade was jerked from her nap. "What? Where's the fire?" she yelled as she tumbled out of her chair. Shizune glanced up from her desk in the corner.

"Hokage-**sama**, there is no fire. Now would you be so kind as to DO YOUR WORK!"

"I was doing my work! I swear!" Tsunade yelled defensively. _Whoa! She's scary when she's mad_. _I could have sworn I heard Naruto..._

Everyone in the entire marketplace was staring at Kakashi and Naruto, waiting for something to happen. Sasori, Sasuke, and Sakura decided it would be best to just walk away. Slowly.

"Hehe, now Naruto why would think that. The books I read are not hentai. They are informative books that Master Jiraiya himself has researched. Now if you will excuse me, I need to get the next book in the series." Kakashi just continued on his merry way in whatever la la land he was in, completely oblivious to the stares and odd glances he was receiving.

Naruto, on the other hand, fumed, "That old pervert! I doubt he'll even show up for lunch! He just some excuse to get away from us."

Sasuke and Sakura walked up behind Naruto after they thought it was safe to be around him. "Come on Naruto, no use worrying about it. If he is late than we can just wander around the market looking for some ninja tools or somethin'," Sasuke offered Naruto.

_That has got to be the longest sentence Sasuke has ever said to anyone. And Sakura still hasn't latched onto him. What is going on?_ Sasori had been watching from behind a counter displaying many prominent swords. _I really should get a new one of these but I've got more pressing matters to attend to before something goes terribly wrong around here. Maybe if I wasn't immune to fuckin' genjutsu I wouldn't care, but what the hell? Who did it?_

While Sasori was having an inward debate, team seven found him and proceeded to talk to him. "Sasori? You ok? You look all spacey again. Like when Naruto hit you with the shuriken."

Naruto decided to try and get his attention, "Sasori? You there? HELLO?" But to no avail could they awaken him. Until Naruto came up with a brilliant idea. Sasuke took a step back from the group after seeing Naruto's mischievous look. Naruto quickly licked his finger and stuck it in Sasori's ear.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! WHAT THE HELL?! WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO THAT FOR?! KYUUBI SHUT THE HELL UP!"

**Sheesh, watch the profanity, there are children around. Do you kiss your mother with that mouth?**

"I WOULD, EXCEPT SHE'S DEAD!"

**It's a figure of speech, sheesh and I thought the kit was sensitive.**

"Well maybe you should think of that before you say things!"

**I know we're havin' a great conversation and all but...you're scary everyone.**

Sasori looked around the store and realized that once again, everyone was staring. Unfortunately, it wasn't at the copy-cat ninja this time. Oh no. This time they were staring at him. But wouldn't you stare if someone was yelling at a person when they aren't even talking back to them. I know I would.

_Oops. Don't think that won me any points with the villagers._

"Hehe, sorry 'bout that. I was just having a conversation with...the manikin. Yep. Hehe. I even named him Kyuubi. Hehe. RUN!" Sasori bolted out of the store as quickly as possible, running down the street in the direction of the ramen shop.

"Um guys?" asked Sakura, "Do you see any manikins?"

"Nope," Naruto stated simply as he started to follow Sasori out.

* * *

**Sasori: He still hasn't waken up yet.**

**Kiba: I know how to wake him up -kisses me-**

**Me: -wakes up sees Kiba kissing me and passes out-**

**Sasori: Good job! You made him pass out again.**

**Kiba: Sorry -shrugs- I tried.**

**Me: -wakes up- Ugh. I had the strangest dream. It was like Sasuke and Naruto were having sex on my couch and then you two were having sex on my bed and then you were kissing me Kiba. Weird dream huh?**

**Naruto: -walks in naked- Yo Shadow, where are your towels?**

**Me: Ack! -passes out again-**

**Everyone: -sweatdrop- **

**Sasori: Good job, you made him pass out again!**

**Kiba: Guess we gotta finish it too. Sheesh.**

**Naruto: Until next time! Ja ne!****

* * *

**

**A/N: Before I really finish this I would like to thank all my wonderful reviewers. Since you were all so nice, I give you cookies! -hands out cookies- I hope the Sasori guy I made doesn't seem too powerful or something. He's just a character I made up in my boredom and I think he's pretty cool. Again if there are any suggestions, let me hear 'em. Oh and please don't flame!**


	3. Lunch Time Mayhem

**A/N: I hope everyone is enjoying the story thus far. I'm sorry that there hasn't been any yaoi in it though. I'm trying to develop some sort of story line, 'tis all. I'm gonna try and put a bit of fluff in this chapter but sadly, I can't promise anything. If you haven't guess yet, the OC in the Kiba relationship is Sasori. Sorry I haven't updated so soon! I'm soo busy with school and all. **

**Warnings: Yaoi, Blood, Cussing, Lemon (later chapters)

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**Me: I'm awake! I also locked my door so that they wouldn't be able to disturb me. I would like to say for ice wolf alchemist, the problem is that instead of affecting just Naruto, it affects all of Konoha. You'll see that more as the story progresses, this one is good for that. I'm sorry if you peoples are expecting more yaoi but it's my first fic and I'm trying to get a good plot going. I think I might actually put yaoi in my future opening and ending conversations. Just to keep the yaoi fans interested. And yes Damo, I have some very, _very _horny people in my house but that is why I locked the door. I blame my friends because you know what? They actually act like this and it fuckin' scares the shit outa me sometimes. I'm serious they do these kinds of th-**

**-door breaks down-**

**Me: Ahh! You guys! I needed that door! And it was locked so that you wouldn't come in!**

**Sasori: We know.**

**Kiba: We're just hungry and would like to know where your food is.**

**Me: -twitch-**

**Sasori: Um...You ok?**

**Me: -twitch-**

**Kiba: I think you broke him.**

**Me: -twitch-**

**Sasori: I didn't break him! You did!**

**Kiba: Did not.**

**Sasori: Did to**.

**Kiba: Did not.**

**Sasori: Did to.**

**Me: YOU FUCKING BROKE DOWN MY FUCKING DOOR TO FUCKING ASK ME WHERE MY FUCKING FOOD WAS????**

**Kiba: ...yes ... and you should really watch that mouth of yours ...**

**Me: WHAT THE HELL!!!!!!! -fumes-**

**Sasori: Just back away slowly...-move backward-**

**Me: I'M GOING TO FUCKING KILL YOU BOTH!!!!!!!!!!**

**Sasori and Kiba: Run! -run out of room-**

**Me: Get back here! -chases them-**

**Naruto: -enters room- La dee da dee da! Hey, where did Shadow go? -completely oblivious to broken down door (that's our Naruto)- Oh, well. I guess I'll do the fic.**

**Disclaimer: I own me! But Shadow doesn't.**

"Talking"

_Thinking_

"_Sasori thinking to people"_

**Kyuubi talking

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Naruto stepped outside and turned to see Sasori running down the street. Well he was trying to run, anyway. It's just really hard to run down a street with a million people in it.

_Screw it!_ Sasori thought as he pulled out his wings. Everyone within twenty feet immediately dashed into the nearest store or clung to the front's of the surrounding buildings. You really can't blame them though. I mean, seriously, what would you do if some kid just randomly pulled wings out of his back. You'd probably do the same thing.

Sasori jumped into the air, with the aid of chakra, and flew off towards the ramen shop, flying about twenty feet in the air. After he had flown off, the villagers resumed their previous places of market merriment. It didn't go unnoticed by Naruto, the dirty scowls the ground where Sasori had just been was receiving.

_I wonder if they hate what he just did or if they hate...him?_

"...uto. Naruto." Sasuke directed at Naruto as he waved his hand in front of his face. "You ok there, dobe?"

"Oh! Yeah, Sasuke. I'm fine. Just thinking." Naruto stuttered as he scratched the back of his head.

"Oh is that what I smelled, dobe?" Sasuke teased. The effect he got was exactly what he wanted.

"TEME! DON'T CALL ME DOBE!" Great. Now all the attention of the market was on Naruto. Was team seven to bother the whole town or what? Multiple villagers scowled at the blue-eyed boy as he turned a color that puts a whole new meaning to the color white.

"Dobe? You ok? You look a bit pale." _Aw Sasuke is worried about me._

"Yeah. I'm fine. See ya there!" he yelled as he bolted down the street. Though, he had no trouble getting through the crowd because people move aside in fear of getting touched by him. They muttered insults like "Damned Kyuubi brat" and "The brat should rot in Hell". Of course, this angered a certain raven haired boy.

He glared daggers at anyone who dared approach him and the very unintelligent man who did...well let's just say he won't be using his arms for a while. Everyone one parted from the last Uchiha in fear that their own limbs may suddenly become unusable as well.

"Oi Sasuke-kun, where are you going?" Sakura asked as she followed closely behind making sure to not actually touch the avenger.

"To the ramen shop. Where the hell else? I want to get this fucking lunch over with so that I can get the hell home," he spat at her, his eyes glinting red. Sakura gulped and decided not to ask him any more questions. _Why won't she leave me the hell alone. I'm sure that she was going to ask me out **again**. I don't fucking want to go on a date with her!_ _Why doesn't she get that through her fucking head? Hehe. It probably gets lost on her big-ass forehead. _Yes I know, I'm shocked too. Who knew the Uchiha had such a...colorful vocabulary?

Meanwhile, Sasori landed on the ramen shops roof and jumped skillfully down to the ground, avoiding any innocent bystanders that might be around. _If I'm right, then this genjutsu will start to take affect soon._ _Ugh I just hope it doesn't scar me for life._ Sasori glanced inside the ramen shop from across the street to be sure that no one was waiting for him. _I don't know why I bothered looking. It's not like Kakashi-sensei is suddenly going to arrive on time._

All the while Sasori was thinking, Naruto came rushing around the corner. Once he did so, he slowed down to a walk and began to search for someone that he knew. He blinked and saw a mop a blond hair moving towards the ramen shop at snail's pace. _Hehe. There you are!_ Naruto thought as he started to follow Sasori, making sure not to make a sound. He licked his finger for the second time today and stuck his newly wet digit in Sasori's ear. He didn't get the desired effect, however. Instead, Sasori turned to dirt and he felt something wet enter his own ear.

"AHHH! YOU BASTARD!" Naruto yelled as he spun around to face a smirking Sasori. "You used a clone jutsu on me! Argh! I can't believe I fell for it!" At this point, once again, everyone in the area was staring at a fuming Naruto who flung strings of curses from his mouth. Sasori's smirk deepened when he saw Sasuke and Sakura making their way through the mob people call a crowd.

"Hey, look who it is Naruto," whispered Sasori as he pointed behind Naruto.

Naruto spun around to see whom he was pointing at. BIG mistake. He instantly felt wet fingers enter BOTH ears at the same time. Did I mention him turning around was a big mistake? I did? Good. Now where was I? Oh yes. Naruto screeched so loudly and high pitched that it would put any girl to shame.

"That first one was for earlier and that one was for fun. I can't believe you fell for it again," Sasori choked out between laughs. He held his sides as they ached from his laughing. He fell forward onto the ground, tears spilling from his eyes (Overreact much?). Naruto turned back around and kicked the form curled up on the ground beneath him. The villagers huffed and went about their chores, scowling as they did so (I wonder if their faces hurt from all the scowling they've been doing).

"Bastard," muttered Naruto as he plopped down beside the still laughing Sasori, an adorable pout adorning his face as he did so. Sasori stopped laughing and sat up next to Naruto.

"Aw. I'm sorry Naruto-chan. I didn't mean to hurt your feelings," Sasori apologized half sarcastically.

"T's ok," he muttered back. Blink "HEY! I am NOT a girl!"

Sasori patted Naruto on the head, "I know, but you are soo adorable when you pout, I couldn't resist."

Naruto scratched the back of his head innocently, "Hehe."

"What are you two doing?" came a calm voice from behind them. Ok so maybe I lied. It wasn't exactly calm but Sasuke was trying his best to not rip out Sasori's throat right then and there. He really was trying. Honestly!

"Waitin' for you guys, I guess. Ready to get ramen?" asked Sasori as he turned to face Sasuke and Sakura, who was cowering behind a glaring Sasuke.

"RAMEN? YAY! RAMEN!" (I think you can guess who said that)

"Yes," came a timid voice from behind Sasuke, "but we still have to wait for Kakashi-sensei, don't we?" She did have a point.

"Ahh. That's ok. I'm starving so let's eat now. If he doesn't come, I'll just pay for it myself," offered Sasori. Well, more like commanded.

"We can't do that!" Sakura rejected. All eyes flashed to Sasori and awaited an answer. He could be kind scary sometimes.

"No really. I insist! Might as well put this S-rank mission money to good use."

S S-rank? You gotta be kidding me! You're that high up? I thought only special jounin did those!" Naruto exclaimed as he waved his hands around in a childish manor. Sasuke remained indifferent and Sakura laughed at Naruto's antics. _The idiot._

"Yeah well, since I'm so young, Hokage-sama can't give me genin to teach. Think about it. A 15-year-old teaching 12-year-olds wouldn't work too well. Hehe. And since they can't give me genin to teach, I can't exactly be promoted to a special jounin. But anyway, Hokage-sama just boosts my ranking a bit. I think that's to provide a sense of security to the nobles that receive my services. Even though they are pretty surprised when they find out how old I am. I think she even wants me as an ANBU but I refuse. My life is already a big secret," Sasori explained. Blink. Blink

"So guys, how 'bout that ramen then?" came a voice from behind Sasori. Naruto, having been facing Sasuke and sitting next to Sasori, turned around a bit.

"Kakashi! You were there the whole time weren't you?"

"Yup. I arrived when he started his babbling," he answered from behind an orange book, a new one, I might add. The pages were still stiff from not being read.

"Hey! I wasn't babbling I was stalling for you!" Sasori yelled defensively.

"Yeah...anyway. How about we go get that ramen now?"

"YAY! RAMEN!" shouted Naruto as he took off towards the ramen stand. The rest of the group followed him and they all took seats at the stand.

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**Me: -enters room- Damn them and their ninjaness. Naruto! What are you doing?**

**Naruto: Writing the fic for you. Are you mad?**

**Me: If it's good...then no. -reads fic- I think it's good but I don't know if the readers will think it is.**

**Naruto: -puppy dog eyes- aw why not?**

**Me: Just because you're adorable doesn't mean that you're good at writing -pats on head-**

**Sasuke: GET...OFF... -drags Naruto out of room-**

**Me: I'm having deja vu.

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The ramen stand was just a small building with a large counter lining the outside of it for the customers to order their food and eat. The inside of the building was where they cooked the ramen. They each sat down, from right to left, Sasori, Naruto, Sasuke, Sakura, and Kakashi. Kakashi looked down the line and smiled.

"Now guys, I can't afford for you all to eat more than three bowls a piece. So please don't eat more than three."

Sasori leaned closer to Naruto and whispered in his ear. "I think he directed that at you."

Naruto blushed at the feeling of Sasori's breath on his ear and shivered. He looked down at the counter and muttered something unintelligible.

"_I heard that. Sorry I didn't mean to make you feel uncomfortable. Hehe. Oh and you might want to answer the waitress. She's been looking at you for about a minute now."_

"Ah. Gomen nasai (That's sorry right? Right?) I sorta spaced out. One miso ramen," he stuttered as he tried to regain his composure, his blush growing darker as he spoke.

"I'll have pork ramen, please" Sasori told the waitress as he turned to his left and looked at Sasuke. For once in his life, Sasuke looked confused.

_What's the matter with him, Sasori?_

"_Nothing, I just whispered in his ear. He's very sensitive, I guess_."

_Hmm_, _dobe._

"_Now, now Sasuke, be nice. He's not th- Kiba? Whatcha doin' here?"_ Sasori turned to his left and noticed that Kiba was sitting down in the stool next to him. Kiba looked at him

"Getting some ramen." Everyone looked at Kiba.

"_Well no shit. I thought you were going to order sushi here. And just so you know, I'm talking to you through thought."_ Naruto sniggered beside him, Sasuke turned back to staring at the wall in front of him, Kakashi continued to read his book, Sakura looked at Kiba as though he had two heads, and even the waitress turned to wonder why he had spoken.

"Thanks for telling me earlier, shit head," Kiba muttered to Sasori.

"You know what? You kill the fun in everything. I'm trying to talk to you in your head so you talk through your mouth? What do you not understand about talking through thought?" Sasori asked a bit harshly.

"Do **you** know what? I come here and sit beside you to eat some nice ramen and you insult me. I don't even know why I bothered!" _Why does everything always end in an argument?_

"_It doesn't have to. It is kinda my fault though. I shouldn't have been so sarcastic."_

_Yeah but I should know you're being sarcastic._

"_Hehe_. _Whatever. FOOD! I'm starving!"_ Sasori did a very good imitation of Naruto when someone tells him he's getting ramen. The waitress immediately sat food down in front of all five of them and said, "!Buen provecha!" with a smile. Everyone, except Kakashi sweatdropped.

"What the hell..." muttered Sasori.

"What the fuck did she just say?" Naruto asked no one in particular.

"Buen provecha?" whispered Sakura.

"..." (Sasuke's as talkative as even)

"I give up!" yelled Kiba.

"'Have a nice meal'? Why the hell did she say that in Spanish?" Sasori muttered.

"Spanish? What's Spanish," our even intelligent dobe asked.

"It's a language, you idiot," Sakura answered for Sasori. "When did they start that?"

"Who knows..." Sasori looked at Kiba, who had begun to eat his ramen. _When did he order that?_ Kakashi at the far end had pulled down that mask of his and was currently eating his ramen while still reading his book, the book even closer than before so no one would see his now uncovered face. How does he do it? Sakura had begun blowing on her ramen in an attempt to cool it, splashing the counter with its contents as she blew. Naruto, on the other hand, had already finished half his bowl, and Sasuke slowly and painfully ate his meal.

Sasori slowly raised the steaming food to his lips and stuck it into his mouth. After two seconds, he spat it back into the bowl and waved his hand in front of his mouth. "ITAI! THAT'S HOT!"

Kiba, being the smart ass he is, muttered, "It's ramen. It's supposed to be hot, baka. Did you expect it to be cold?" SMACK (Heehee Me and my friend do this everyday! Only...I'm the one getting hit-rubs back of head-)

"Oi bastard, I know that. I just wasn't expecting it to that hot."

**Hee hee hee**

"Shut up, Kyuubi"

**Oh that was rich! I don't get much humor stuck in this little brat! You just made my day.**

Sasori growled as he began to eat his ramen again, taking extra care in making sure it was cool. He glanced at Kiba and caught him staring at him. "Yes? Might I help you?"

"Oh uh n-no I was just thinking. Sorry!"

Sasuke was beginning to grow frustrated with the slurping noises that Naruto was making. SLURP! He gripped his chop sticks hard and cringed at the sound. _Why did I sit next to him?_ SLURP! He gripped hard but his finger slipped and his chopsticks fell from his hand. They bounced on the counter and rolled off of it. And where do you think they landed? The ground? His lap? He caught them? Well you're wrong then because they fell on none other than our, (ahem) I mean, Sasuke's little Naruto's lap.

Naruto eeped when he felt the slight pressure of the chopsticks. A blush threatened to crawl across his face as he realized they were Sasuke's chopsticks. Sasuke, oddly enough, blushed a bit but merely hid it beneath his long bangs. He reached out and grabbed the chopsticks, his fingers lingering a bit, before he pulled his arm back and began to eat again. With the same chopsticks, none-the-less!

"Gomen nasai"

Naruto just sat still without even blinking as his blush grew further across his face. He slowly sunk down into the high collar of his jacket (what else do you think it's for?). "N-No big deal," he stuttered and faked a laugh. _Why am I acting like this. Who cares if_ _he touched my leg? He was only getting his chopsticks. AHHHH!_

"_NARUTO! Shut the hell up!"_

"Sorry," he whispered to Sasori.

The group finished their ramen and decided that they had had enough of each other for the day. They all muttered their thanks before heading in their separate directions. Naruto decided that he would go for a walk in the woods. Sasuke headed off towards his home to resume being the reclusive bastard he is. Sasori walked off in the direction of the market store that sells swords to find a new one and Kakashi went off to do Kami-sama knows what. Sakura headed off towards the hospital to help out with the wounded ninja. They all left poor Kiba standing there to stare at the team as they all receded into the distance.

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**Me: Yay! I'm finished with the chappie!**

**Kiba: -slowly enters room-**

**Me: Hey! I'm not done with you! -grabs Kiba and pins him on the bed-**

**Kiba: You better hope Sasori doesn't walk in**. **He wouldn't be too pleased.**

**Sasori: -enters room and sees Kiba pinned by me- Threesome!**

**Me: Wait! No!** **I'm not into that!** **-hides in corner-**

**Kiba: Aw we won't hurt you.**

**Sasori: Yeah. It'll be fun! -grabs me and throws me on the bed-**

**Me: HELP! RAPE! HELP!**

**Kiba: Now Shadow, you can't rape the willing.**

**Me: Ahhh!

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**A/N WHEEEEEE! I finished the chapter! Hope everyone's happy with it so far. I'm trying to make the end and beginning conversations humorous but my perverted mind keeps showing up (I think you can tell though). Tell me if you have any suggestions and if ya love it! Don't flame please! Wheee!**


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